Should you decide to break off your engagement, it is possibly one of the most difficult tasks you will ever face.
No matter what the reason, if you’ve decided that you really can’t spend the rest of your life with your fiance, far better to end things sooner rather than later. Hard as it might be now, it will only become more difficult to extricate yourself the longer you allow the relationship to continue.
If you are questioning your decision, wondering if it’s just wedding jitters or something more, relationship counselling can help you to sort through your mixed feelings on your own, or you could take your fiance to see if it’s possible to work through your issues.
Making the Break
Once your mind is made up, tell your fiance first, in private, and as gently as you can – that means, NOT by text, email or by changing your Facebook relationship status!
Chances are he’s having the same doubts as you and will understand – or even be relieved by – your decision.
If at all possible, surround yourself with supportive family and friends throughout this time. Not everyone will agree, and some may be shocked at first. But those who truly care about you and your future will support you, regardless.
What about the Engagement Ring?
Should you keep the engagement ring or return it to your ex-fiance? This is a tough one! Some women consider that seeing it was a gift, they are perfectly entitled to keep it. Others feel that it’s best to offer it back, particularly if they are the one ending the engagement.
Sadly, a used engagement ring is worth a lot less than the original price that was paid for it. You and your ex could agree to sell it to Cash Converters or similar, and split the cash, but don’t expect it to amount to much.
Dealing with Engagement Presents
Particularly if you’ve had an engagement party, you may have received a lot of gifts meant for you as a couple.
You could ask people if they’d like their gift returned, but that will likely take a lot of time and effort. Would it be simpler to just return them, perhaps with a note advising that the engagement has been broken? Or perhaps you could give the gifts from his side of the family back to him or his mother, so they can return them to the original owners?
If you’ve been living together and/or have already used the items, it won’t be so clear cut. One couple received a fridge from his parents; upon their break up, the former bride-to-be kept it and paid them for it.
Undoing Wedding Plans
Don’t forget to cancel the wedding venue and any other wedding arrangements as soon as possible. You may be eligible for a refund of any deposit paid, especially if they are able to take another booking on that date.
And finally – remember, that there is likely somebody heaps better out there, waiting just for you!